virtue through the rainfall of Dharma without conceptual thought.
-- Gampopa, from "The Jewel Ornament of Liberation: The Wish-fulfilling Gem
of the Noble Teachings"
+~
+ Psychologists tell us that a strong sense of self is essential to be
+psychologically healthy. But it seems Buddhism says there is no self. How
+can we reconcile these two views?
+ When psychologists speak of a sense of "self" they are referring to the
+feeling that oneself is an efficacious person, someone who is self-confident
+and can act in the world. Buddhists agree that such a sense of self is both
+realistic and necessary. However, the sense of self that Buddhism says is
+unrealistic is that of a very solid, unchanging, independent "I." Such a
+self never has and never will exist. To understand this is to realize
+emptiness.
+ Strange though it may sound, someone may have a psychologically weak sense
+of self that in Buddhist parlance would be considered strong self-grasping.
+For example, a person with poor self-esteem may focus a lot on himself and
+have a strong feeling of the existence of an independent self that is
+inferior, unlovable, and a failure. From a Buddhist viewpoint, such an
+independent self does not exist, although a conventional self does.
+ --Thubten Chodron, "Buddhism for Beginners"
+~
+We all depend on one another. For this reason, whenever we act according to
+self-interest, sooner or later our selfish aims are bound to clash with the
+aims of the people we rely upon to accomplish our own goals. When that
+happens, conflicts will inevitably arise. As we learn to be more balanced in
+valuing others’ concerns with our own, we will naturally find ourselves
+involved in fewer and fewer conflicts. In the meantime, it is helpful to
+acknowledge that conflicts are the logical outcome of this combination of
+self-interest and interdependence. Once we recognize this, we can see that
+conflicts are nothing to feel shocked or offended by. Rather, we can address
+them calmly and with wisdom.
+ -- Karmapa Ogyen Trinley Dorje, in "Beyond Anger: How to Hold On to Your
+ Heart and Your Humanity in the Midst of Injustice", Shambhala Publications