That is the source of happiness in our life.
-- H.H. the Dalai Lama
~
- It's important to differentiate a thought from an emotion. We say things
-such as, "I feel like they don't accept me." Actually, that is a thought.
-We may feel hurt or frustrated, and it's because we're thinking that others
-don't accept us. How do we know they don't accept us? We don't. We
-haven't asked them. Instead, on the basis of how they looked at us or a
-comment they made, our mind constructs a story that we believe.
- As soon as you hear yourself saying, "I feel like...," stop and recognize
-that you can't "feel like" something. You are thinking. After you have
-identified the thought, ask yourself, "Is that true? How do I know it's true?
-What evidence do I have to prove the validity of that thought?" It's really
-startling to see how often we assume our interpretation of a situation is true
-when in fact it is based on flimsy evidence.
- -- Thubten Chodron, from "Don't Believe Everything You Think: Living with
- Wisdom and Compassion"
+The fundamental teaching of the Buddha is that we should view others as being
+more important than we are. Of course, you cannot completely ignore yourself.
+But neither can you neglect the welfare of other people and other sentient
+beings, particularly when there is a clash of interest between your own
+welfare and the welfare of other people. At such a time you should consider
+other people's welfare as more important than your own personal well-being.
+Compare yourself to the rest of sentient beings. All other sentient beings
+are countless, while you are just one person. Your suffering and happiness
+may be very important, but it is just the suffering and happiness of one
+individual, whereas the happiness and suffering of all other sentient beings
+is immeasurable and countless. So, it is the way of the wise to sacrifice one
+for the benefit of the majority and it is the way of the foolish to sacrifice
+the majority on behalf of just one single individual. Even from the point of
+view of your personal well-being, you must cultivate a compassionate
+mind—that is that source of happiness in your life.
+ -- H.H. the Dalai Lama
+~
+ Attachment and love are similar in that both of them draw us to the other
+person. But in fact, these two emotions are quite different. When we're
+attached we're drawn to someone because he or she meets our needs. In
+addition, there are lots of strings attached to our affection that we may or
+may not realize are there. For example, I 'love' you because you make me feel
+good. I 'love' you as long as you do things that I approve of. I 'love' you
+because you're mine. You're my spouse or my child or my parent or my friend.
+With attachment, we go up and down like a yo-yo, depending on how the other
+person treats us. We obsess, "What do they think of me? Do they love me?
+Have I offended them? How can I become what they want me to be so that they
+love me even more?" It's not very peaceful, is it? We're definitely stirred
+up.
+ On the other hand, the love we're generating on the Dharma path is
+unconditional. We simply want other to have happiness and the causes of
+happiness without any strings attached, without any expectations of what these
+people will do for us or how good they'll make us feel.
+ -- Thubten Chodron, "Don't Believe Everything You Think: Living with Wisdom
+ and Compassion"